I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I remember watching Aliens at my Florida grandparents' first house on Little Torch Key when I was 12. They had cable, and whichever channel it was repeated Aliens several times, so that I remember seeing it in one evening sitting with my whole family, and then I remember catching a few minutes of it here and there when my brother or I turned on the TV to see if anything good was on while everyone else napped.

Then as now, I was a coward about visual media, so I'm sure I wanted to leave the room more than once, and I'm sure my father teased me about it. I remember sitting through much of it, though, watching the team be killed off one after another, but steeling myself to it by promising myself that the movie would spare the woman and the child, and maybe even one of the men. If I refused to care about any other characters, I would be ok. I understood that they would have to live because they stood for a family, without which it wouldn't be a happy ending.

I thought about this memory when I heard the news of the car bomb that exploded outside a bride's house in Baghdad yesterday, destroying so many lives. I thought about this when I heard myself wonder, did the bride and groom survive? I realized that if this were a movie, the deaths of her uncles, aunts, and cousins, their families' and friends' children would not matter to me. I would be satisfied with only the main characters' survival.


posted by Rosasharn 11:43 AM
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